Guide to the Virtual Girlfriend Experience

I was lucky enough this past week to have an amazing conversation with a fellow flirt from NiteFlirt! My friend, Sara (popularly known as SweetlySensual_Sara on NF), is the gorgeous, sensual voice behind the podcast, “Must Love Fetish.” Yours truly was her special guest this week! Sara interviewed me, and we had a very insightful and thought provoking conversation regarding the virtual girlfriend experience.

must love fetish podcast
Click image to listen to “Must Love Fetish” on iTunes

In an effort to expand upon a very fascinating chat between Sara and I, I’m dedicating this post to the elaboration of some of the interesting topics related to being a virtual girlfriend. My suggestion is to first listen to my guest appearance on “Must Love Fetish” if you haven’t done so already! If you decide to read this first, be sure to accompany it with the podcast as a follow up (you can listen for free on iTunes), so you can hear Sara and I speaking about the complexities, intricacies, and addiction that is the virtual girlfriend experience.

As a consumer in adult services, you’ve likely seen the term “girlfriend experience” or “GFE” advertised all over NiteFlirt and other adult forums. Perhaps you’ve been one of the lucky men to partake in a mutually beneficial girlfriend experience? Maybe you’ve been curious but reluctant to seek out a GFE service, not knowing what your expectations might be? Or, perhaps you have no fucking clue what having a virtual girlfriend would even mean? Well, here is your guide to all things “Virtual Girlfriend Experience.”

What is the Virtual Girlfriend Experience?

Very much like the name indicates, having a virtual girlfriend brings all the benefits of a real relationship: conversation, companionship, intimacy, sexual pleasure, and emotional support to name a few. Yet, ideally, having a virtual girlfriend leaves behind the many stresses that tend to arise with a “real life” girlfriend or wife: arguing, jealousy, nagging, control, demands, predictability and monotony.

The concept of the “Girlfriend Experience” arises from the world of escorting;however, a virtual girlfriend provides, essentially, the same experience but without the actual physical contact with that of sleeping with an escort. Yes, it’s still considered a transaction or exchange of goods – the reality is that when we work in the adult business that is at the core of all of our phone sex relationships. There is the provider and there is the client; however, the virtual girlfriend experience truly delivers so much more than an exchange of sexual pleasure for money. Dedicating your hard earned money and time to a virtual girlfriend pays off far more than it costs. If you find the right girl, the benefits are endless, and you will have earned not only a confidant but a true friend who is always in your corner. Your girlfriend experience will include having a woman who is always available to cheer you on during your achievements and successes and who is going to be there for you during obstacles and hardships.

Is the Virtual Girlfriend Experience for You?

A majority of my “virtual boyfriends” are men who are at a point in their lives where they might feel like they are no longer the priority in their real life partner’s world or have found that they are missing out on the most necessary intimate aspects of a relationship. If in your life you often feel lonely, ignored, under appreciated, unimportant, insecure, and in need of someone to talk to, then you are already a great candidate for finding a virtual girlfriend.

GFE isn’t just for the aforementioned men; perhaps you travel a lot or are often too preoccupied with work and friends to give what is necessary to an every day relationship. Maybe you find that you are often selfish in relationships and it’s just sometimes too much trouble to cater to the schedule, wishes, and expectations of women who just don’t understand what it is you need out of a girlfriend. It’s even possible that you’re perfectly happy in your current marriage or relationship, yet need a little spice on the side.

There’s no shame in wanting action and excitement so you can explore your sexuality. There’s also no shame in wanting to, as you continue to grow as a person, meet new people and have new experiences outside of your every day world of family and friends and work and mundane duties. All humans crave both emotional connection and sexual gratification; therefore, the virtual girlfriend experience is a no-strings-attached way to fulfill those desires without actually stepping out on your significant other or compromising your own needs. 

How to Find the Perfect Virtual Girlfriend

On the “Must Love Fetish” virtual girlfriend experience episode, I spoke about how I never set out to offer a girlfriend experience to callers. Becoming a professional “girlfriend” of sorts just happened naturally, because I grew to have genuine care for my callers and made real connections to men who kept wanting to come back for more. Over time, these phone relationships have grown into true connections, real attraction, and a mutually beneficial arrangement.

As a provider of phone sex, I most certainly know that every single man who dials my number is not going to be my “ideal” man. Sometimes the reality is that a phone sex call just doesn’t deliver the chemistry or connection or gratification that someone is looking for. Personalities might conflict, fetishes might work in opposition of what I, as a provider, am willing to offer, and any other number of scenarios might occur that make a caller and a phone sex girl NOT be a perfect match for each other. For instance, just like when going on a real date, sometimes you just don’t “click.” In regular phone sex and fantasy role play calls, these issues aren’t usually much of an issue at all. In fact, a caller might not ever even have the indication that our personalities aren’t jiving, because the purpose isn’t to get to know one another, the purpose is to get off. It’s my job to please YOU, the caller. If you’re paying for me to humiliate you because of your small penis or if you’re wanting me to “wallet rape” you or role play as your cum hungry wife, I can do all of these things whether it turns me on or not. You pay for our services; us girls deliver.

The virtual girlfriend experience though, is vastly different. There needs to be a real connection and mutual respect for one another on multiple levels. As much as I am here to cater to you and your needs, you also provide me with a gratifying sexual, emotional, and intimate experience. Being a phone whore can be faked; being a virtual girlfriend takes authenticity, truth, understanding, and most of all RESPECT.  For men browsing sexy listing after sexy listing of women offering a virtual girlfriend experience, it might be hard to determine who the right girl for you is. I’ve found that most of my virtual boyfriends didn’t start off wanting or seeking out a GFE; what happened was that they called me for a more traditional phone sex experience, but we hit it off.

Over time, we both wanted to know more about each other’s personalities and lives. We would discuss everything from our sexual desires to our ideal dates to what our favorite movies and books are or just sharing a funny story about something that happened to us that day.We began to have longer conversations that focus on real life opinions, observations, and experiences rather than just going through the motions of a sexual experience and hanging up the phone. This doesn’t mean, however, that many men don’t set out to find a virtual girlfriend rather than just a smoking hot phone fuck. It just takes a little bit more work on your behalf to find a woman who is going to be genuine with you rather than someone who is just going to play along as though it’s a fantasy. Again, let me be clear – “playing” at being your girlfriend is well within the realm of phone sex services; but, if you truly want to feel a true connection, it means you’ve got to engage in repeated calls and the entire conversation shouldn’t be completely one-sided. Sure, you’re paying for your calls, but as mentioned earlier, for real feelings to develop, you must do your part in sustaining the relationship and staying in the forefront of a woman’s mind.

If you’re testing the waters with finding a virtual girlfriend experience, you should be looking for a woman on the other end of the phone who is giving you her undivided attention. She should, over the course of a few phone calls, be able to remember details you’ve told her in the past without it feeling forced or faked. Your virtual girlfriend should follow up on things you’ve talked about in the past, such as travel plans or important events you may have mentioned in a past call. She should ask questions about your life, while also sharing experiences of her own. Your new virtual girlfriend should be able to laugh with you, talk with you about your interests (though she doesn’t need to be an expert in them), and know when it’s time to turn up the heat. When you’ve found a woman you look forward to talking to, someone you think about throughout the day and want to share thoughts, feelings, and just something that made you think of her with, then you’re making that transition from role playing to a developing a connection to a virtual girlfriend.

All of this sounds like a real relationship, right? So, what’s the benefit of having a virtual girlfriend rather than going out and finding a “real life” girlfriend to deliver these essential benefits or fill a void in your life? Well, the obvious is that on the phone you are less vulnerable because there is a level of distance that doesn’t call for traditional expectations like monogamy. You don’t need to rely on your physical appearance being what leads a woman to be interested; it’s your intelligence, personality, and who you are at your core that your virtual girlfriend will become attracted to.

A virtual girlfriend isn’t bringing you baggage or demanding expectations beyond what you choose to give her. The stress of a real relationship doesn’t and shouldn’t seep into your virtual world of happiness, companionship, and intimacy. A virtual girlfriend won’t make unreasonable demands for your time, she won’t stop you from hanging out with your friends, she won’t get jealous because you talked to some other woman, and she won’t make you feel stupid, insecure, or not good enough. You can get all those things from a real life girlfriend or wife, and your virtual girlfriend knows this!

Sex with a connection and deep intimacy is fucking incredible and above and beyond what any traditional phone sex call can provide. Getting off is great, obviously, but getting off with someone with whom you’ve built and established a mutually caring and genuine admiration and connection with can surpass some of the real life sex you’ve ever had. This isn’t to say, however, that journeying into the world of virtual relationships doesn’t allow room for real life situations to occur. It just means that for many men out there, finding a virtual girlfriend experience can fill any emptiness you’ve found to exist in your life. Us flirts are here to save you from a boring, predictable, lonely, and love-less life. Finding the right virtual girlfriend for you can make all the difference in your happiness. 

The Complexities of Providing the Virtual Girlfriend Experience

As the girl offering a girlfriend experience, the experience itself can be complex and emotional. When we’re providing phone sex, us flirts are well aware that the goal is to get you off. We know that once you cum, the call usually ends, and if we’re lucky enough to make it to your “favorites” we’ll hear from you again in a few days or weeks and have a hot phone fuck session all over again. However, when offering girlfriend experience, we open up to our callers (or “virtual boyfriends” as I like to say) on a much deeper level. These men see us as more than just a sultry and sweet voice with a dirty vocabulary on the other end of the line. You will see us as the real people we are. Us GFE flirts share true and meaningful experiences with you, and show ourselves to you on an intimate level that very few of our callers are lucky enough to ever see. It can be difficult for both parties to establish and maintain boundaries when this level of intimacy is involved.

During the “Must Love Fetish” podcast, Sara asks me if I’ve ever fallen in love with a caller. She also shares her own personal story of falling for a previous client of hers. Our conversation is authentic and demonstrates some of the insecurities and painful choices that might arise as a phone sex provider who has found herself with feelings for a man who in any other world is just a distant stranger on the other end of the line.

Us virtual girlfriends are not immune to truly falling for you. It’d be very difficult to speak to someone on the phone for hours at a time, sometimes several days a week and keep up a facade regarding who we are and how we feel. We are capable of falling in love with you, capable of having our hearts broken by you, and capable of insecurities that people tend to experience in real life relationships. As a result, we might build walls and create boundaries that, to you – the man paying for our services in the virtual girlfriend experience – don’t fully understand. We have reasons for not giving you our real phone numbers or meeting up for coffee or a fun weekend away, despite how much we want to go. We might hesitate in telling you we love you back after you’ve professed your feelings; not because we don’t feel it, but because of our own lack of “control” over the situation. Romantic feelings are a fragile thing and us girls would often prefer not to break down the virtual wall; this is often out of the need to protect ourselves, as well as you, from the pitfalls that can doom real relationships.

Need to Know More About Virtual Relationships?

To learn more about how I answer that “love” question and many more questions posed by Sara during our conversation, you’ll have to listen to the podcast in its entirety. I’d love to know my readers’ and callers’ opinions on the virtual girlfriend experience. Please leave a comment with your personal GFE history, curiosities, questions, and thoughts!

Finally, if you’re in search of something that feels like it’s been missing from your life that traditional phone sex calls haven’t been able to provide, next time you call your favorite flirt maybe frame your call differently; get to know her on a deeper level; ask questions or share stories and observations like you would on a real life date. Then, see if the two of you hit it off… you just might be lucky enough to be one of the men who find a truly one of a kind relationship with that flirt. This connection can bring your sex life to new levels of excitement. Thoughts of your times spent with your virtual girlfriend will make you wake up every single day feeling more alive, knowing that there is a woman out there who unconditionally has your back and your best interest in mind. For us flirts who offer a virtual girlfriend experience, we’ll be by the phone hoping that when the phone rings it’s you – the favorite caller, the man who gets us off every single time, the virtual boyfriend who is also giving us what we are missing in our own lives.  

virtual girlfriend experience
Click banner to visit NiteFlirt.com

Erotic Bedtime Stories

Imaginative Storytelling

I’ve always had an incredibly creative mind. My ability to, on the spot, come up with compelling and detailed scenarios is one of the strengths that has made me such a successful phone sex girl. From a very young age I loved to read, write, play dress up, and play “make believe.” Still, as a young woman I love creating tales for my callers to tantalize them and keep them coming back for more. My role play phone calls as well as my fantasy mp3 goodies have helped me to rise to the top of popular flirts on NiteFlirt. Putting myself into the role of a character can be fun and exciting, allowing me to experience levels of pleasure and eroticism that I otherwise might not experience.

To be clear, I am very much myself when a man calls my line on NiteFlirt. When I’m asked personal questions, I answer honestly about myself (within the boundaries that I’m willing to share). Some types of calls don’t require an external fantasy scenario; these are the callers that get the true version of myself. Then, there are the calls that request for a specific role to be acted out. I’m not playing a character 24/7 with my clientele – I am ME – Ryder – the real girl exploring her sexuality with horny men while managing to set aside a pretty nice saving account for when I’m out of college! However, one of the beauties of phone sex is that of being able to create role plays and play dress up. Only, unlike when I was a kid, this is a very much adult version of “make believe,” only suitable for those mature enough to play along.

It can be thrilling to take on characteristics that aren’t normally ones I possess. Playing around with a concept or character offered by a caller, and stepping up to the challenge to see what new ideas I can bring to their fantasy is incredibly rewarding. Having phone sex can be easy; however, to be GOOD at phone sex and offer callers individualized and original calls is much more challenging than just moaning and talking dirty.

Being good at phone sex role plays takes the willingness to let your imagination wander. A good storyteller allows his or her mind to travel and wander down unchartered or unexpected territory. Without a creative mind, men calling a woman on a phone sex line might experience predictable or sometimes repetitive calls, and let’s be honest – when you’re paying for phone fun and want to get off, who the fuck wants the same exact experience, character, and narrative every single time? OK, to be fair…. some of you definitely DO want that! However, as a caller I imagine you would want your flirt to do some improvisation, to keep you on your toes, and to make you excited for what new angle she’ll take with your fantasy or new way that she’ll approach the narrative in a future call.

I believe that the element of a strong imagination is why so many new flirts feel nerves, self-consciousness, or don’t last very long in adult entertainment. Storytelling isn’t for everyone; but, those of us who are good at it can offer incredible, one-of-a-kind role play experiences that will surpass the years your own imagination has explored your favorite fantasies. If you haven’t ran a fantasy by a good adult storyteller, it’s time for you to start your own search for a favorite girl to bring your fantasies to a whole new, outstandingly erotic and sensual level. 

Every Good Story Needs a Climax

The power that a good story holds can affect the listener both physically and emotionally. Just like the fairytale bedtime stories of my childhood, strong character development and an exciting narrative keep the listener invested and involved, on the edge of his seat waiting for the climactic point of the tale and the release that comes with it.

If you’ve yet to talk to me about my personal interests, reading is a big passion of mine. I’m almost always reading a book – usually some kind of mystery or suspense or young adult type novel, but I have a genuine appreciation for good writing and story development. I have always been the teacher’s pet of my English classes throughout my education, taking A.P. Literature classes that forced me to read classics that became some of my favorite books. I love how words can transcend a page, add a romanticism and connection to characters in stories to my own life, despite laying in bed alone with my Kindle in hand. 

I’m in no way going to claim to be an all-star writer, but I do believe that being an avid reader has made my storytelling come alive in my phone sex world. Knowing how to frame a scene, how to portray my character as a realistic, full personality who has complexities to her are important in role playing a caller’s fantasy.

Want me to be your domineering babysitter? A bratty spoiled socialite? A cute, innocent little virgin? Your cheating girlfriend? Your controlling boss? A naive stranger? 

In reality, I’m none of these things but I CAN be all of these things. Based on my own personal experiences as a young woman, an understanding of the complexities of the human personality, the ability to utilize vocabulary and voice delivery that suits your tale, and just simply the knowledge that I am in control of a story and my imagination is the limit. Those are the elements that drive you over the edge, climbing up that peak to the climactic point of the story where you reach that highest point of excitement. It is there at the climax that allows the pay off of being fully invested mentally and physically; you explode and feel the euphoria of that release settle.  

When a man chooses to call me I oftentimes don’t know what particular fantasy he may suggest or want to explore. It’s my job to take a little bit of information from him, and take the reigns. I move forward into setting up a world where I’m providing a sensual, erotic, and hypnotizing experience, a bedtime story of sorts that transcends the listener to a world outside of reality. The character, situation, and experiences come alive. When I, in detail, lay there with a man on a call, with my eyes closed, imagining every aspect of the story I improvise, we are both displaced to this other exciting world. We are both taken outside of ourselves where the role play can feel so real.

I hope that when a fantasy role play call with me ends, you, as the caller, feel like you experienced an escape, like a great book or story can provide. As I tailor a role play to your tastes and fetishes, you’ll explore an exhilarating ride that will, before bedtime, calm you down and serve a satisfying relief. Yet, like any good addicting story or storyteller, I’ve created an anticipation, curiosity, and intrigue as to what new, dirty, sexy stories can come from my naughty and deviant mind during our next call.

Want to hear me read this latest blog post on “Erotic Bedtime Stories”? Download the audio version HERE.

erotic bedtime stories
Click banner to visit NiteFlirt.com

Relationship Status

“Why doesn’t a girl like you have a boyfriend?” 

StatusThis question is, quite possibly, one of the things I am most often asked in my life. Not only by guys on NiteFlirt but from family and even some friends. For some reason, I constantly find myself reminding people of my stats: I’m 19, I’m in college, and my single status isn’t a side effect of something being wrong with me; I don’t have a boyfriend because I don’t WANT one right now. I’m constantly being given unsolicited advice from friends in the “honeymoon” phase of their new relationships, or from aunts who have some romanticized idea of planning my wedding (um, have I mentioned I’m 19? haha) and even from old ladies in coffee shops or supermarkets who feel the need to let me know that they’d make a move on the solo-guy in line in front of us if they were “my age.” 

KissIt might sound like the cliché, “I’m single and loving it!” thing that girls say to keep themselves from crying into their lonely pillow at night, but as a young woman who doesn’t fear for my relationship future, right now I’m all about having fun and not getting too serious. As a college student, I constantly see how my friends tied to relationships struggle with their social decisions, and I do not envy them. The amount of times I’ve been told not to tag a friend on Facebook or Instagram because his or her “significant other” can’t know where they are for the night is astounding. I mean, I can’t image being put in the position to lie about who I’m with and where I am…. well, from anyone other than my mom and dad, maybe. Hehe. 

A lot of people think if you’re not Sexy1that loser girl who is pining after some guy waiting for him to become her boyfriend, that you must be the complete opposite type: the slut who is open for business 24/7 or maybe the anti-love “manhater.” I’m none of the above – I am not promiscuous, but i’m not a prude. I am not searching for and in desperate need of love, but I certainly won’t turn my back on the possibility of someone being a great guy who I’d like to be with, if he so happens to come along. I love having the freedom on any given day to say “no, I’m not interested” or to say “fuck yes, let’s do this!” It’s fucking amazing being a young, attractive, single woman who is aware of her own sexuality, and right now I am owning that! 

I know that because I’m single and have sexual freedom, I can experience things that a boyfriend would hold me back from. While I’m this young, hot, and experimental I want to be uninhibited and crazy sometimes. I want to tease and tempt older married men and make out with college boys whose names I can’t remember. I want to have steamy love affairs, scandalous stories to tell, and impassioned conversations with strangers that make me ache for them for days. 

When I start thinking about the entire concept of monogamy it feels somewhat archaic to me. Maybe it’s because of my unique situation as a “flirt” that I find the idea of a traditional relationship to be potentially disappointing and unrealistic. I mean, I am in constant contact with men who would rather rub one out in the bathroom while talking to me, than have to even for a second interact with his annoying, nagging wife. I know which end of that situation I want to be on, and being the hot young temptress is way sexier than the girlfriend or wife who is in the dark and doesn’t know what her man wants or needs. 

This time spent as a single college girl is and will continue to open my eyes to so many things I otherwise may not know about myself and about men. I know what gets me off and what I’m worthy of. I know that anyone who makes me feel modest, embarrassed, or ashamed in any way about what I like or don’t like isn’t someone who deserves me or my time. Yet I also know that if I’m not willing to be selfless and attend to the needs of a guy, then I can’t expect him to just sit around and patiently wait for me until I am “in the mood.” Sex is incredibly important to a successful relationship, and unless you take the time to explore your own sensuality when you have the freedom to do so, I believe you run the risk of ending up in the type of relationship that is mundane, predictable, or unfulfilling. 

So, as Valentine’s Day weekend approaches and guy friends, ex-boyfriends, and classmates who have apparently been admiring me from afar think they are throwing me a bone by asking me out for a V-Day date, I say, “don’t do me any favors!” This Valentine’s Day I won’t be pretending to like the roses a guy got me instead of the lilies I really wanted or be disappointed by the milk chocolate candies when he knows I only like dark. I won’t be annoyed at the fake attempt to give me some contrived version of a “romantic” date night that, in reality, neither of us actually want to go on. Instead, I’ll be going on a kick ass rock climbing/movie/casual dinner “date” with my other single besties, and I know at the end of the night if I’m feeling in need of something more… I have my own fingers and about a dozen boyfriends on NiteFlirt who know exactly how to take care of me! 

 

Call RyderDoll for phone sex on Niteflirt.com