Make America Sexy Again

AppleSexyAs a young woman of the millennial, digital age generation I know that by nature I tend to have a different outlook on a lot of life situations than probably many of the men I speak to on a regular basis. I’m of the generation who was practically born with an iPhone in our hands and if it wasn’t for the fact that my brother is a bona fide hipster, I wouldn’t have any fucking clue what people meant when they say things like “I have that album on vinyl” or “I’ll make you a mixed tape.” From politics, to pop culture, to social media, technology, fashion, and more, chances are strong that you and I would have some distinction between our perspectives simply on our age-gap alone, if not other factors. However, there is one unifying topic and universal language that joins us together: sex.

When I first became a Phone Sex Operator/Provider/Seductress/Mistress or other sexy title of your choosing, I’d have been hard pressed to consider myself part of the “adult industry.” I mean, I’m a normal girl, living in my parents’ house anGoodTimeSexyd just trying to save up some money for when I get to college, this is a temporary thing and short-lived, not something to make a career out of or to feel like I’ve joined the ranks of “real” adult performers like strippers, escorts, or porn stars. I never had those feelings in a judgmental way, but certainly in a separation kind of way. A “what I do” compared to “what they do” kind of way, which subconsciously, I’m now aware is judgmental when faced with that distinction as it’s typed out in front of me. From the point of view that “I just do phone sex,” I couldn’t possibly consider myself in the same ranks as women literally spending their nights in the laps of men at strip clubs, pay-by-the-hour motel rooms, or at The Bunny Ranch.

Having now been in the business of getting men off for money for a little over a year now, my perspectives have most certainly changed. As I look around me in the real world (i.e. the world outside of the dark, isolated, secret corners of the world with whom I’m connected through the phone late at night), I come to find to a frightening extent just how judgmental, conservative, and uptight our country, if not world, is about sex, sexuality, and sex workers. This comes to mind for a few reasons. One of which is a bill that’s up for vote in California affecting the adult film industry (Hey Cali guys – vote NO on Prop60 – read more here) another being the conservative push for restrictions on pornography, labeling it as some kind of disease that’s infesting our American society, and the third reason being my own personal encounters with a very judgmental person who showed me first hand that maturity and understanding do not, in fact, come with age and experience, as you’re often taught.

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Many of my guys who read my blog probably remember a time when you watched porn on VHS tapes or back rooms of video stores. You might remember when pornography started to become THE reason to get an Internet connection or when at a certain time of night late night cable would show soft-core porn (side note: they still do; this wasn’t just something happening in your glory days. hehe). For you, sex and masturbation was taboo and not often talked about openly- even the vanilla kind, so I can understand the frustration, humiliation, and shame that comes along with far more taboo fetishes you’d never let your colleagues, friends, family or even your best friend or significant other know about.

For me and my generation, however, we were raised in a digital age where any piece of information (sexual or otherwise) was a keyboard click away. I remember having dusty, old, rarely used dictionaries and encyclopedias in my classrooms that went unused. Those items became obsolete to desktops, tablets, and our own personal phones to seek out information. I grew up with a Mac in my bedroom, and as society would see it, I was an adolescent always one possible second away from the ultra scary world of corruption, abduction, and perversity.

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But to me, this access to information was just that… information. An education in something no one was willingly to openly talk about where the questions I had about my body, my fantasies, my internal thoughts and feelings weren’t hushed or turned away.  I was able to turn to the resources that let me realize that I wasn’t alone in these early adolescent desires. What was happening to my body and to my mind wasn’t something to be self-conscious or ashamed of, as people would have it. Instead, I found solace in the fact that women could be empowered, in control, and find pleasure in their body and in fulfilling their needs.

Thanks to those dirty, dark corners of the Internet and Internet porn, I grew to feel more open about my control over my body. It introduced conversations between my friends and I about sex that we otherwise might have never discussed, answering our cuSexyGirlsriosities and helping us explore what it meant to learn about our own bodies through feeling sensations of excitement, touching ourselves, and understanding the way that one day we will need men to touch us in order to bring us pleasure. For my friends and I we are looked at by older adults as being horny, slutty, degenerates who aren’t going to make anything of ourselves as a result of our over sexed and undisciplined lifestyles. It’s easy to blame the Internet, porn, movies, pop culture, etc. However, the way I see it is that we are no different from any other generation; we simply have the benefit of not having to hide who we are, what we like, and how we choose to act on those desires. I don’t believe we’re having sex any earlier than ever before; I just believe that more people are paying attention because of the exposure and unapologetic attitude of myself and my peers.

I’m not naive. I know there is a dark world out there and I completely know that my own perspective of pornography comes from the comforts of my suburban, middle-upper class bedroom as I took breaks from studying for my next AP exam or as I excitedly sought new, exciting ways to pleasure my boyfriend the next time we hooked up. I understand that there are predators, traffickers, and monsters out there. I, however, don’t believe it’s the adult industry, but rather the shame and degradation that comes along with the judgment toward sex, that perpetuates those issues (among other things that I won’t get into). Adult services, be it pornography, strip clubs, cam shows, or phone sex, are for entertainment. The purpose is to excite, release, move on, repeat. Anyone taking it as any more or less than that, as some kind of deep seeded stain on our society, needs to look into themselves about what they are truly trying to hide, because I find it is almost always the people who preach the loudest against something who tend to be the most guilty at the end of it all.

AmericanPantiesSexyAmerica is an amazing country that a majority of us lucky enough to be living here most certainly are aware of. We have the ability to freely speak our minds, debate issues, protest opposition, and so much more. However, in some ways our country wants to revert back to a puritanism of sorts, where sex is for procreation and not pleasure, where people aren’t supposed to live open, authentic lifestyles if it makes some other person or group uncomfortable, and where some government officials and groups want to place restrictions on the type of content, ideas, and images we are exposed to. We are living in a time when a small group of people in the government are telling women their jobs are putting them in danger and harmful to their health, safety, and to the impressions made on society; these same people though, are not willing to listen to the women working directly in the sex industry, who are saying “No- YOU do not know my life, my job, or the effect any of it has on me OR the world.” A majority of the women in the sex industry are empowered through their work; they do not need a law to tell them to “wear condoms or else,” when it’s riddled with language that could begin the downward spiral of the pornography industry in the state responsible for its primary production.

Many people might look at me and think “I can’t believe Ryder is doing THAT.” Yet, in that one simple judgment they fail to see that I’m not “just” a sex worker. I am smart, funny, clever, sarcastic, stubborn. I’m a daughter, sister, friend, lover. I’m a student and I’m a Phone Sex Operator. Most of all, I am someone who knows that people are at their happiest when they are getting laid and when they are getting off. I believe the adult industry is at its best with women at the helm of their own careers making their own business choices that are best for themselves. We are at our best when we are able to create content that allows men and women to have moments that allow us to feel true to ourselves and our desires.

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I already think America’s pretty great; but, I do think it could be a whole lot sexier as soon as we take the shame out of pleasure, take the stigma out of adult content, and just get it in like we need to- whether in real life, on the phone, digitally, or just in our imaginations. My hope is that older generations than mine look upon people my age with some envy that we can be so open and true to ourselves without as much judgment. In turn though, my other hope would be that those who are passing judgment on sexual promiscuity, the availability of pornography, and servicesAmericanFlagSexy that cater to adult clients will look within their own thoughts to identify hypocrisy where it exists. At the end of this all, let’s just all work harder to make America sexier! Celebrate your sexuality and your fetishes!. Explore curiosities and don’t be ashamed to make requests to sexual partners and have open discussions with  friends whom you fear might pass judgment. In the end, you have one life… Are you going to live it making excuses based on what others might think, or are you going to be your own freaky self and support the industry that brings to life every facet of your fantasies in vivid, exotic, and fucking incredible ways?

 Call RyderDoll for phone sex on Niteflirt.com

Ryder’s Red Hot, Sexy Summer

Have you been having a sexy summer? I have!

I’m well aware that I’ve been onsexy summer a serious hiatus with my blog writing this summer. Blame my sexy summer days by the beach and pool with friends, blame my incredible vacation to Italy that put me in a “disconnected from the world” state of mind, or blame yourselves – my many phone sex partners who keep me up so late at night, exhausting me from anything else in the world to the point where my mind is filled with sleep, fogginess, and just a constant hunger to cum rather than writing about it 😉

 

My Sexy Summer on Twitter

If you are wondering what I’ve been up to all summer now is as good a time as any to follow me on Twitter, where I’ve been very active lately! My handle is @FlirtRyderDoll – and while I know that many of you don’t want to mix RL with PSL (Real Life with Phone Sex Life, that is) there’s no reason you can’t create a “Phone Sex” or “NiteFlirt” related Twitter account to follow me and your other favorite flirts. You’ll benefit from getting to know me on a much more intimate level, feeling like you’re not only in my head since you know what I’m thinking but also to feel like you’re just an everyday part of my life due to ongoing communication any time of day or night. Also, you’ll get immediate updates and when I am signed on and off of NiteFlirt… and if you’re in dire need of me, you can tweet me and it instantly sends a notification to my phone. Much better than relying on NiteFlirt mail that I might not see until hours after you’ve sent it.Tempted yet? Create an account and follow me @FlirtRyderDoll!

 

My Sexy Summer on NiteFlirt

I’ve also updated my Goodies offerings with several new itemsexy summers throughout the course of this sexy summer. I’ve got everything from JOI (Jerk Off Instruction) to Fantasy Role Plays to extreme filthy talk to a 60 minute very intimate and personal Q & A session with yours trulyIf you have not checked these out yet, make sure you do. Use them as an escape from your daily life and use me and my voice as the ultimate form of Viagra that will keep you not only ROCK hard, but cumming non-stop like never before.

Jerk Off Instructions - Sensual Bedtime Release Jerk Off Instructions - Midday Quickie Fantasy Roleplay Collection - The Tourist's Temptation Fantasy Roleplay Collection - Block Party Blackout Fantasy Roleplay Collection - Irresisting Arrest Fantasy Roleplay Collection - Mile High Girl

Dirty Doll Series 1 Dirty Doll Series 2 Dirty Doll Series 3 fantasy-roleplay-collection-deviant-homewrecking-babysitter-1 fantasy-roleplay-collection-deviant-homewrecking-babysitter-2 fantasy-roleplay-collection-deviant-homewrecking-babysitter-3

My Sexy Summer in Italy

romeAside from my shameless self-promotions (#sorrynotsorry) my summer has been absolutely amazing. I took a 2-week vacation to Italy, where I travelled to 4 different regions on what was my first ever “solo” vacation. I was with one of my best friends and college roomie, but by “solo” I mean without my parents or without my school. My previous 2 trips to Europe were high school trips, to Barcelona and to London, and several years ago my family went overseas on a two week adventure to Ireland and Northern Ireland. Italy was my first time abroad as an adult, and wow did I make the most of it! I travelled to Rome, Florence, the Cinque Terre, and Venice & Verona and saw the most amazingly incredible sites and experienced the best that food, lifestyle, and culture had to offer.

I’m very fortunate to have such a prosperous job for a 19-year-old girl davidthat I was not only able to make this trip happen, but that I was able to live like a fucking baller for the entire 2 weeks I was there. I mean, since I’ve been home I’ve put myself on financial lock-down in order to save money for when I go back to school, but while there, I saw everything and anything my heart desired, I drank wine with every meal (hello, 18yo drinking age!), I soaked in the mediterranean sun and beaches, I flirted and enjoyed excursions with men who didn’t even speak English, and I spoiled myself rotten. I couldn’t be happier and my friend and I are already brainstorming ideas of where to travel next summer. Anyone have suggestions?

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Looking Forward to a Sexy Fall

As mansexy summery of you can probably agree, summer has soared past … I don’t know what happened to July and can’t believe that 3-weeks from now I’ll be packing my bags again and heading back to Boston for my sophomore year of school. I’ve been asked by a lot of guys lately what they can do for me, so if you’re feeling generous and want to contribute to “Ryder’s Back-to-School” fund, you can always send me a tribute or shop off my Amazon List to surprise me with some goodies for when I head back to a busy, busy year. Maybe instead you want to fund my back-to-school wardrobe? You can always tribute me on NiteFlirt or send specific store gift cards to my email address at RyderDoll1123@gmail.com. Anything and everything you guys do for me, I’m continuously grateful for! 

 

Aside from this update, I’m working on some ideas for another blog post in the coming days or hours, so make sure to check back and as always, don’t forget to give me a call soon so you can have some dirty talk and a naughty fuck with your favorite little flirt!


Call RyderDoll for phone sex on Niteflirt.com

Daddy’s Girl

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Yes, I need to address the super taboo, “off-limits,” word that brings with it a predetermined understanding of the dynamics of a relationship. I imagine the word “daddy” has been a part of bedroom play for decades, but for me personally, up until the last year “daddy” to me was only used in reference to my ACTUAL father whenever I really needed to borrow money, have a curfew extension, or lay on a guilt trip of some kind. Like every “daddy’s girl,” I mastered the art of the pouty lips and whiney voice very early in life. As the father of three adorable daughters (and one relatively handsome son) my dad has been put through the ringer when it comes to being wrapped around our pretty little fingers.

DaddysGirl6Nowadays the term “daddy” has brought on a highly sexual connotation for me, thanks to so many amazing callers on NiteFlirt. I often have callers reluctantly slip the “D” word into conversations and calls, worried that I’m going to cry “TOS violation” and disconnect immediately. Other guys go for it right away, introducing themselves as “Daddy” either when I ask for a name or prior to my even answering the phone through their daddy-inspired username. As a young woman who has a very healthy relationship with her real dad, this sexual nickname doesn’t offend me at all. I completely understand why NiteFlirt and other adult websites might want to discourage the use of the term, for fear that it instigates an incestuous relationship between blood relatives or those living under the same roof. Also, being that the term “daddy” clearly insinuates a much older man and a younger girl, I am sure they are fearful of any association to underage-play. I respect that and am not promoting those particular fantasies, despite the fact that they do indeed come up every so often. My perspective on this topic addresses the use of “daddy” outside of these previously mentioned circumstances.

I, like many other girls must confess that, from time-to-time, I’ve gotten caught up in the daddy role-play fantasy of many of my callers. Especially being a young woman who is just naturally attracted to and drawn to older, sophisticated, established men, I can’t help but get a little wet between my legs every time a guy introduces himself into the mysterious “daddy” role. Aside from the aforementioned TABOO concepts, there’s a lot of non-taboo ways to play with the daddy role. One way, obviously, is through the arrangement of a “Sugar Daddy” and “Sugar Baby,” while the other is simply just a mutual understanding that in the bedroom, “Daddy” is in charge; therefore, as the naughty little girl, I must comply with his wishes. This is a far tamer approach to a master and slave dynamic that allows partners to dip their toes into the figurative waters that represent power, domination, and control.

There is something so fucking hot about this role-play to me; I not only look forward to receiving these calls, but the role-play will almost always get ME off as well. There is some criteria that I have, though, since I couldn’t possibly be fingering myself and rubbing my clit every single time a guy wants me to call him “daddy.”  For instance, the circumstance would need to be such that the caller and I have good chemistry. Also, we’dDaddysGirl3 both need to have a mutual understanding of our roles. Furthermore, the guy on the other end of the line must be able to match my ability to get into the role, having a way with his words that convinces me he’s my authority figure who is to be respected. I live for those moments when I have to ask “daddy” for permission, when I need to inquire how to best make him proud, and when I have been naughty and need to be punished. I’ve always naturally, in my real sexual life and fantasies, been drawn to the submissive role, so a role-play that heightens this concept but doesn’t take it quite as far as being a “slave” really excites me. Being “daddy’s girl” means I get to be myself in terms of my real personality, age, and sexual interests. I get to be with an older man who truly loves girls my age, I get to do and say the things that turn me on, and I get to drive a guy crazy with my authentic enthusiasm.

Although I don’t consider myself a true “Sugar Baby,” I also think the concept of a “Sugar Daddy” can be hot in role-plays as well as in real life. As I said earlier, I’m extremely attracted to men who are successful and distinguished. He can be married or single, have a family or be child-less, possibly have the perfect personal life and professional life that most men dream of, or feel that his current situation is lackluster and uninspiring. Whatever the man brings to the table, I always love the entire scenario of me being the tempting, alluring, young woman drawing his attentions elsewhere. A man who is at a point in his life where he has it all, yet, for whatever reason, is longing for something in his life that inspires him to not be compliant in the mundane or predictable, will benefit greatly from a relationship with a girl in her late teens to early twenties.

By providing financial benefits to the DaddysGirl8girl, the man, in turn, will benefit not only sexually but mentally, spiritually, and in so many ways that help him to feed off of the adventure, the spontaneity, and the positive energy that comes along with a young woman on the brink of discovering her place in the world. For the young woman, she finds not only financial stability in a time when she would otherwise be living off of ramen noodles and shopping at B-level stores, she gets a taste of what the future of her life might have to offer if she, too, stays motivated by her career and the potential to begin that professional life debt-free. A confident, successful, and affluent man can provide opportunities, inspiration, sexual satisfaction, and personal growth on a level that wouldn’t be gained even slightly by dating college boys.

When it comes to real-life, over fantasy role-play, what I’m not into, however, is being a “trophy girl.” I don’t want a “daddy,” be it of the “sugar” variety or any man playing that authoritative role, who would be content with me being arm candy and nothing else. If a guy is looking for an individual seeking guidance, a girl who can provide thought-provoking conversations and challenge him at times, and a young woman who has self-respect, poise, and aspirations, then I’d be the perfect “baby girl” for him to reign his sugar down upon. If the man in question is simply in search of a perfect little fuck-toy who will be silent, submissive, stupid, and stunning all at once, I’m only willing to humor him with phone-time role-play when he calls my line.

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Sometimes “daddy” play is purely for the gratification of getting off with a great goddamn orgasm in the heat of the moment. Other times the scenario might be considered in the long-term arrangement between two individuals mutually benefiting from a steamy and prosperous encounter. Regardless of the set-up, the whole concept of being “daddy’s girl” in the bedroom is one that I am beginning to experiment with and very willing to further explore both on NiteFlirt and throughout these years of my young life as a college girl.

What do you guys think? Is “daddy” role-play hot or is it going too far? Do you think a lot of girls share my excitement over this roleplay? Does the idea of having a “Sugar Baby” get your cock hard, or does it make you feel taken advantage of and used?

I’d love to know your thoughts on this, and all my blog topics, either through the comments here, or through messaging me privately or calling me on NiteFlirt!

Call RyderDoll for phone sex on Niteflirt.com

Girl on Girl Action

There’s just something about girl-on-girl action that makes men lose their fucking minds. I agree that the image of two sexy girl’s pretty, soft lips locked in a kiss, twirling their cute little tongues around one another is fucking beautiful. When it comes to guys, it is often ranked as one of their ultimate turn-ons. 

So many of my phone sex callers ask me questions about my attraction to women; these are the questions I receive most frequently:sexy fucking girl kiss

“Are you bi-sexual?”
“Do you ever hook up with girls?”
“Have you ever seen your girlfriends naked?”
“Can you tell me about the first time you ever kissed a girl?”
“If you could have sex with any actress, who would it be?”

Let me start by saying that no, I do not consider myself bi-sexual. I truly and whole heartedly believe that women are the most beautiful and exotic creatures on Earth, and I would rather see a woman naked over that of a man, if I’m speaking aesthetically. However, in terms of sexual attraction and who I want to get off and get me off, I’m 100% into guys.

Having said that, I also must confess though, that I have had very strong physical attractions to women.  This might confuse a lot of people who want to label me as “bi.” My feeling is that a sexy female body is a turn on, no question about it. However, just because it’s a visual stimulation for me doesn’t mean I have an overwhelming desire to physically act on that. I mean, if a guy I’m attracted to is in front of me with a hard-on, it’s a natural instinct to want to get on my knees and suck him off or to climb on top of him and ride his cock till we both explode. That animalistic need has to be fed and the only way I can feel satisfied is to have it then and there. When I see a woman, however, it’s a different feeling. If a girl I found to be the ultimate perfection of the female figure was in front of me, legs spread wide open and wet as can be, I wouldn’t have that same instinct to bury my face between her legs and taste her. It’s not that overwhelming craving that I would feel with a man; instead, it’s an appreciation, an admiration, and will likely be a turn on that makes me wet. That doesn’t mean I’m going to dive in and eat the girl out, though.tumblr_mn5ti6pyzf1qfw572o1_500

As a young woman I’ve experienced first-hand over and over again the overwhelming intrigue shown by guys if you even tease them a little bit about doing something sexual with another girl. I know there’s a joke among generations older than mine about women going through a “phase” in college where they make out with and hook up with their girlfriends. For my generation of millennials, it’s much less a “phase” and far more something you learn very quickly throughout middle school and high school as a tactic to get the attention of boys.There are some things us young girls do with our friends in private when we’re growing up that boys never get to see. However, we tend to exaggerate some of our intimate practices and go public with our displays of female affection as soon as a cute boy at a party suggests it would be hot to see two girls kiss. Whether we’re into our friends or not, if we’re a couple drinks deep, everyone is having fun, and we’re living on the high of being the center of attention, kissing our friends is a really fucking easy way to turn heads.

I can remember as far back as late elementary school at sleepovers with friends. Late at night, we’d all talk about what it will be like to kiss a boy. I mean, some of us already had what we considered a “first kiss.” Maybe a peck stolen on the playground or a kid in the neighborhood who would run around and tease us, only to one day plant one on us. Yet, we all, even at that young age, knew that a REAL first kiss was around the corner, so in our adorable little pajamas, in our sleeping bags, we would hsexy socks - girl-on-girlave little “practice sessions.” We’d put our hands into fists, and kiss the fleshy part of our skin, critiquing one another on technique, as though any of us at that time had any idea what we were talking about.A couple of times some of the braver girls might dare one of us to kiss each other;this would usually end up being a little charade where one would pretend to be the “boy” and the other would be the “girl about to be kissed.” It usually resulted in laughing, teasing each other about our little schoolgirl crushes, and going to sleep still really confused and anxious about whether or not boys would want to kiss us and if we’d be any good at it. Little did we know about the storm of attention we would be getting within a few short years, and that those little “practice” sessions could be reenacted in our teen years with a level of comfort and ease with one another that is unique to girls who share moments like these with their friends.

So, to answer some more of my FAQ’s, I wouldn’t label what I’ve done throughout the last few years as “hooking up” with girls. Have I seen many of my girlfriends naked? Yes. Have I kissed or made out with a few of them? Uh huh. Have I been in the same room with any of my girlfriends when they were naked and getting fucked? Ummm… yes, actually I have! haha. Was I an active participant in that particular activity? Nope! I had my own situation going on in a separate bed, with a separate guy. But, like I said earlier, there is something very visually stimulating about the female body, even when it’s one of your hot friends with whom you basically grew up as sisters.  While I have kissed my best friend (and other friends) in party moments to tease boys, while we regularly get dressed and undressed in front of one another without hesitation, and while I have even seen her in the aforementioned position of getting it on (and she can say the same about me), I still can without any hesitation whatsoever tell you that I have ZERO interest in going down on her, spreading her apart, or putting anything inside her.

I find the fascination and interest a lot of men have with girls making out and lesbian porn to becurious. I always wonder what, beyond the physical attraction, makes this such a popular porn niche when there are alternative options of seeing hot girls go crazy on some guy’s cock. I personally reallylike watching porn from time to time. I started watching it online at a relatively young age and learned kissesso much about sex from dirty videos. In fact, even as a straight girl, I almost always look for a super hot woman in a porn clip before I even care about the content or her “co-star.” I love one-on-one male/female fucking, I like a little variety from time to time, so 3-some videos are super hot and depending on my mood or what catches my eye I can go for  either 2 guys/1 girl or 2 girls/1 guy. So, as you can see, I obviously GET what’s such a turn on about women…. I GET that it’s hot to watch girls do nasty sexual things to each other in a 3-some setting while some guy is fucking them, switching back and forth between the two.

I’m really interested to know, however, what guys tend to love about full out lesbian girl-on-girl fingering, fucking, and pussy eating? Is it the fact that you don’t see another guy in the equation, therefore you can imagine yourself to have them all to yourself? Is it the voyeuristic nature of catching girls being naughty, doing something they wouldn’t want you to see them doing? It is just a simple as jerk-off material where you don’t have to worry about seeing some guys dick and you can focus solely on the female body?

I’d love to hear any thoughts or insight into what you (if this is your thing, that is) find particularly sexy about 2 (or more) women going crazy on one another. Personally, I’ve never even watched a lesbian porn video, so if there’s a particular one that is your favorite that you think could convince even the most cock-hungry girl to give up the dick for a minute and play with myself while watching 2 girls fuck, send it my way! Maybe you’ll open my eyes to something new or maybe I’ll just be extra ravenous for your hard, thick dick, ready for  you to give me a call and take me like only a fucking man can.

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Call RyderDoll for phone sex on Niteflirt.com

 

Our Secret Truths

24d6c0ba3da59d59628c51e1e448a98aI recently saw a very powerful and memorable film, the Oscar nominated, The Danish Girl, starring Eddie Redmayne and Alicia Vikander (my most recent Hollywood girl-crush; more on that another time! hehe). Possibly because I am always so wrapped up in thinking about my work on NiteFlirt, I couldn’t help but be struck by some of the parallels in this film and what I experience working in phone sex! So many of us tend to have sides of ourselves that are hidden from the people who think they know us best: whether it’s our friends, family, or significant others, there are some deeply hidden secrets that are kept from these people for one reason or another. 

the-danish-girl-poster-wideFor those of you who may not know, the movie I am referring to is the true story of a successful artist as he, with the support of his wife, transitions into becoming a woman. The film follows the intimate psychological, physical, and sexual tensions that arose for one of the first people to ever undergo sexual reassignment transition and surgery. To be clear, this is not a post on transgenderism specifically, nor is it in any way something anyone reading this needs to understand or even agree with. I bring it up because there is one scene in the film that very strongly resonated with me that made me look at my own work on NiteFlirt and in phone sex and the lives of so many of us out there who are harboring some kind of secret, be it a fetish or a lifestyle preference.  

DanishGirlIn The Danish Girl, there is a scene where the artist reaches out to non other than a sex worker to truly guide him in his search for feminization. He visits a peep show, where he sits behind a glass that separates him from the beautiful dancer who strips before him. Performing what was a regular nightly routine that she at first appears detached from, the dancer quickly realizes that the man watching her behind the glass is NOT there to get off, but instead sitting there imitating her movements. In a sort of beautiful, personal, and honest moment between the two, the dancer slows down her movements to become instructional rather than for the erotic purpose of turning him on, as she’s so often used to. She demonstrates for this man, who is embarking on a journey to become a woman, the ways to move his body, his hands, bat his eyes, and explore his body in the way a woman might. It’s the first time in the film that he truly seems to feel comfortable in his own skin, despite the efforts of his wife and friends to guide him and understand him, it took a woman in the sex industry to recognize this need for guidance, for an outlet, and for a sincere moment in which he could truly feel his true self, shame-free. 

I love this scene because in that moment you can see that the woman understands that she is one of the few people and places that this man in need can turn to in order to explore his true self. 

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In connection to my NiteFlirt gig, while I do get calls from time to time of men who want to experience feminization, the impact reaches far beyond that. From guys who simply want to explore a particular fetish that may be otherwise “taboo” in real like, to people looking to play out outrageous fantasies they might never dream to act on in their day-to-day interactions. From feeling a departure from one’s usual role in life as a dominant or a submissive, to using language that would get them fired or shunned from their social groups, to simply exploring sexuality and engaging in acts with a parter who is not judgmental nor uninterested. I find every single day that men call me and are able to, even if in some small way, become their true selves or their secret selves or their forbidden selves even if just for a few minutes on the phone. 

dom1I adore that when it comes to phone sex, a stranger is reaching out to me and is uninhibited in the way that he can behave. I’d be lying if I said I was never weary or confused about particular fetishes; I’ve even myself been known to block a guy or two who took things to a dark enough place that I became disturbed and wouldn’t want to go to again (though this happens VERY rarely!) However, overall, on a daily basis, I speak to and meet amazing people who live completely normal, average lives. They just know that there is a side to their personality that has been or is being repressed and they need an outlet for it. I love being that outlet. I love knowing that I can carry their secrets with me if it brings them even a little bit of comfort. I love knowing that, at times, I experience a side of my callers that their closest friends or family might never see. With me, a man can be his true self. Whether it’s due to a sexual deviance or it’s because he needs a person to turn to or a shoulder to cry on or another human being to vent to, I believe that phone sex work is oftentimes SO MUCH MORE than just jerking off and cumming hard.

That isn’t to say that it’s not about jerking off. I mean, c’mon…. I’m not fooling myself into thinking I’m doing some incredible work I should be winning a Nobel Prize for. I just feel that whether it’s a 5-minute stroke session to blow off steam from a long day, or it’s a 15-minute conversation about a fetish that a guy has secretly fantasized about for years but hasn’t been able to bring himself to actually admit to a partner, or it’s a 2-hour marathon call as a result of simply feeling lonely, I really think that making a positive connection between phone sex operator and caller is important to each persons’ experience in understanding themselves.

5317b3bed4529209b4ea69674291a441The best part of all of this for me though, is that several of my callers have been this same outlet for ME. A lot of my life, even though I appear to be “in the middle of the action” as a pretty, popular, and outgoing young girl, I’ve actually always felt that I wasn’t being true to myself in many ways. From dealings with friends, family, and relationships, there have been many times I’ve felt the need to hide aspects of myself for fear of shame, particularly when it comes to sexuality or so-called “deviant” or off-beat desires. However, on NiteFlirt, so many amazing guys have brought that out of me, and I’ve been able to explore those desires that I otherwise wouldn’t have without the help of of the creative, sexy, and extra naughty minds of my callers. 

So yes, I am here to fuck you, suck you, tease you, and tempt you. However, I am also here to give advice, to allow you to explore your needs and desires, to talk you through heartache and hardships, and to empower you in a way that will make you feel alive like never before. 
Call RyderDoll for phone sex on Niteflirt.com

Talk Dirty to Me

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It’s no secret that sexual stimulation tends to lower inhibitions, resulting in the animalistic behaviors we all know and love. I for one have been known to say things during sex (and phone sex!) that I would never have predicted would come out of my mouth if I had considered it in a different circumstance. It’s amazing how sexy some words and phrases can be, and when communicated in that particular moment of ecstasy, something that I normally might not consider to be that hot can end up being the hottest fucking thing I’ve ever heard if it’s said at the right place and time while fucking. RyderDoll-solo

Unlike so many of my friends who dreamed of losing their virginity in some sweet way, I was always the one who just wanted to get rid of it and get to the point where I’d be having fun, talking dirty, and getting fucked hard. That being said, I’ve always been a dirty-talker, and in my opinion, a positive side effect of this has been allowing my sexual partners to know exactly what feels good to me and what I want and like, which apparently isn’t always all that common with teenage girls when they begin having sex and exploring their bodies. This isn’t to say that I’m one of those annoying girls who you just want to tell to shut-the-fuck up; I’m just a vocal girl! I like to say nasty things, communicate my desires, and have been known to get loud from time to time, as I’m sure my roommates or anyone else in nearby rooms could probably tell you! 

The topic of dirty-talk came up with some of my friends recently, and our opinions were all over the place in terms of where we stand. Some of my friends were right there with me when it comes to dirty talk, agreeing there are so many ways words can turn sex into an unforgettable adventure. Some of my friends like being called names like a “slut” or to beg a guy for his cock in a certain way (“bend me over and fuck my pussy hard!”). I was surprised that one of my girlfriends says she calls her boyfriend “daddy” sometimes, cause it determines a sexy role of him being older, distinguished, and dominant and plays up her youthful innocence and submissive nature. In contrast, I had friends, who argued that it made them feel uncomfortable or degraded to be called names and that feeding guys’ egos by giving into the stereotype of a “daddy” figure who controls them wasn’t really something that got them off.

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One of my best friends who is a super sexy, outgoing and fun-loving, HOT girl said that she doesn’t like dirty talk at all. Not because she finds it degrading, but she just doesn’t get into talking to her sexual partners during sex, and finds that it’s a distraction for her when the guy is excessive in the things he is moved to say in the moment. Another one of my girlfriends prefers sensual and complimentary words to be exchanged, but nothing that makes her feel too slutty. For instance, she said she’d love to be told she’s beautiful and have her body complimented (who doesn’t!?) but that to be called a name or be too descriptive in a “dirty” way just doesn’t do it for her.

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I for one cannot imagine having quiet sex. Nothing seems as uneventful as taking what is the most amazing physical feeling without having my psyche stimulated at the same time. I love creativity, I love imagination, and I love getting lost in the moment; I believe that “dirty talk” is something that brings out passion that is rarely duplicated when things become hushed. While I would never be okay with being called a “slut” by a guy I’m hooking up with in any setting outside of the bedroom and while I don’t go around inviting guys I meet to shower me with their cum (or whatever other filthy thing that I might say at any given time while caught in crazy passion), it just can’t be denied that when you’re in that intense frenzy of lustful emotions, sometimes things will come out of our mouths that we never could have imagined saying.

beautifulmouthI’ve always known I’ve had a naughty imagination and could verbally bring-it-on when it comes to sex talk, so whether it’s on the phone or in person, I don’t plan to shy away from saying anything that comes into my head in the heat of the moment. One of the great things about hot, racy phone sex sessions is the ability to be ourselves and, whatever we happen to say, we don’t have to have any awkward “pillow talk” discussion or make excuses about it afterwards. There should never be apologies made for those raw, honest, and playful moments between partners, and I’ve been lucky enough to have some very vocal, descriptive, and incredibly creative phone sex partners who have brought my dirty-talk game to a whole new level.

Make sure you check in with me soon on NiteFlirt. I just might surprise you with the crazy things that could slip out of my dirty little mouth. 😉

Call RyderDoll for phone sex on Niteflirt.com

Relationship Status

“Why doesn’t a girl like you have a boyfriend?” 

StatusThis question is, quite possibly, one of the things I am most often asked in my life. Not only by guys on NiteFlirt but from family and even some friends. For some reason, I constantly find myself reminding people of my stats: I’m 19, I’m in college, and my single status isn’t a side effect of something being wrong with me; I don’t have a boyfriend because I don’t WANT one right now. I’m constantly being given unsolicited advice from friends in the “honeymoon” phase of their new relationships, or from aunts who have some romanticized idea of planning my wedding (um, have I mentioned I’m 19? haha) and even from old ladies in coffee shops or supermarkets who feel the need to let me know that they’d make a move on the solo-guy in line in front of us if they were “my age.” 

KissIt might sound like the cliché, “I’m single and loving it!” thing that girls say to keep themselves from crying into their lonely pillow at night, but as a young woman who doesn’t fear for my relationship future, right now I’m all about having fun and not getting too serious. As a college student, I constantly see how my friends tied to relationships struggle with their social decisions, and I do not envy them. The amount of times I’ve been told not to tag a friend on Facebook or Instagram because his or her “significant other” can’t know where they are for the night is astounding. I mean, I can’t image being put in the position to lie about who I’m with and where I am…. well, from anyone other than my mom and dad, maybe. Hehe. 

A lot of people think if you’re not Sexy1that loser girl who is pining after some guy waiting for him to become her boyfriend, that you must be the complete opposite type: the slut who is open for business 24/7 or maybe the anti-love “manhater.” I’m none of the above – I am not promiscuous, but i’m not a prude. I am not searching for and in desperate need of love, but I certainly won’t turn my back on the possibility of someone being a great guy who I’d like to be with, if he so happens to come along. I love having the freedom on any given day to say “no, I’m not interested” or to say “fuck yes, let’s do this!” It’s fucking amazing being a young, attractive, single woman who is aware of her own sexuality, and right now I am owning that! 

I know that because I’m single and have sexual freedom, I can experience things that a boyfriend would hold me back from. While I’m this young, hot, and experimental I want to be uninhibited and crazy sometimes. I want to tease and tempt older married men and make out with college boys whose names I can’t remember. I want to have steamy love affairs, scandalous stories to tell, and impassioned conversations with strangers that make me ache for them for days. 

When I start thinking about the entire concept of monogamy it feels somewhat archaic to me. Maybe it’s because of my unique situation as a “flirt” that I find the idea of a traditional relationship to be potentially disappointing and unrealistic. I mean, I am in constant contact with men who would rather rub one out in the bathroom while talking to me, than have to even for a second interact with his annoying, nagging wife. I know which end of that situation I want to be on, and being the hot young temptress is way sexier than the girlfriend or wife who is in the dark and doesn’t know what her man wants or needs. 

This time spent as a single college girl is and will continue to open my eyes to so many things I otherwise may not know about myself and about men. I know what gets me off and what I’m worthy of. I know that anyone who makes me feel modest, embarrassed, or ashamed in any way about what I like or don’t like isn’t someone who deserves me or my time. Yet I also know that if I’m not willing to be selfless and attend to the needs of a guy, then I can’t expect him to just sit around and patiently wait for me until I am “in the mood.” Sex is incredibly important to a successful relationship, and unless you take the time to explore your own sensuality when you have the freedom to do so, I believe you run the risk of ending up in the type of relationship that is mundane, predictable, or unfulfilling. 

So, as Valentine’s Day weekend approaches and guy friends, ex-boyfriends, and classmates who have apparently been admiring me from afar think they are throwing me a bone by asking me out for a V-Day date, I say, “don’t do me any favors!” This Valentine’s Day I won’t be pretending to like the roses a guy got me instead of the lilies I really wanted or be disappointed by the milk chocolate candies when he knows I only like dark. I won’t be annoyed at the fake attempt to give me some contrived version of a “romantic” date night that, in reality, neither of us actually want to go on. Instead, I’ll be going on a kick ass rock climbing/movie/casual dinner “date” with my other single besties, and I know at the end of the night if I’m feeling in need of something more… I have my own fingers and about a dozen boyfriends on NiteFlirt who know exactly how to take care of me! 

 

Call RyderDoll for phone sex on Niteflirt.com